I was writing a paragraph or two for inclusion on a partner website. These things are never easy, as you want to convey a lot about yourself or your offering without sounding cheesy and just like everyone else, and of course, you need to convey the value of your product.
I’m not a marketing person really (no, really!) so the best this old techy could muster was the following:
Hosting UK delivers quality service backed up with personal support delivered by friendly, knowledgeable, UK based engineers.
No matter if you’re just starting out and need a website just for fun or need mission-critical services with the best possible managed service with 100% uptime guaranteed, we have professionally delivered web hosting solutions to suit.
Fairly satisfied, I sent it over to a Mancunian colleague in Scotland (?!) who countered with his much catchier version:
Hosting UK provide servers hand built in the Welsh valleys solely by engineers called Dafydd. Each component is hand crafted using sheep bone, and is quality checked to ensure that each server performs to naturally high Welsh standards.
Each server comes with alerting in the form of a male voice choir and monitoring is carried out by our own crack squad of shepherds. Our datacentre is located in the rolling Welsh hills and is unique in the respect that we carefully place each server in a dry stone wall configuration, ensuring that heat is controlled by Welsh precipitation with an emergency Welsh spring on standby.
As emergency power backup we have two herds of friendly sheep harnessed to a treadmill and in the unlikely event of a power outage we have a team of sheep worriers on standby (with extra-large wellies fitted as standard) to help generate the required wattage.
I can’t but think his version was way better than mine .. Interoffice banter at its best.
(P.S. For the thought police out there I should add here that I’m a Welshman and not offended in the slightest.)